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Okay, ya'll. The Fannish on my Flist know me pretty well. But, it's come to my attention that most of the rest of the fandom, including a number of authors that I really respect based on their works and incidental interactions kinda don't.

So: should anything about me, what I've said about this or any other topic, what I've written in the fandom in the past 7 years, or my ethics and ideologies come into question, please refer people here.

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Love to All.

I'll just leave this here...

http://distractify.com/matt-buco/archaeologists-pull-out-ancient-dildo/

and laugh myself silly.

Toys like those are actually illegal in at least two US states. Sometimes I hate living in a country founded by capitalists and taken over by the Religious Right. It's very confusing.
SO I read this:
http://blogs.disney.com/oh-my-disney/2015/03/31/10-questions-we-had-while-watching-pirates-of-the-caribbean-the-curse-of-the-black-pearl/?cmp=SMC|pir|natural|blgomd|OMDMarch|FB|questionspotc-POTC|InHouse|2015-03-31|||esocialmedia||

And it made me want to smack some heads together.

Let's go in order, shall we?

1) She's a 10-12 year old girl on a ship the size of a soccer pitch for 6 weeks, and you expect her to not learn a song that's probably as commonly sung away from the officers on that particular tub as "Uptown Funk" is played in shopping malls today? Not to mention you assume she'd never been on a ship before (when shipping was as common as air travel today for rich families) and boatmen/sailors were quite literally *everywhere* in major cities like London. I can remember snatches of song I've only heard once from the car in the next lane at a traffic signal, and I'm 33; I don't have nearly as many synapses connecting as even a 12 year old. Don't underestimate Elizabeth because you're a molasses-brained twit.

2) If the Governor found out Will made the sword, he'd be within his rights to pillory both Will and the blacksmith for defrauding him. He paid for a masterwork, not the next best thing (no matter how damn good it is) from the apprentice of a drunken sot that happens to wake up at the right moments. Will is well and truly fucked.

3) Bead-making developed independently in multiple cultures in the world many thousands of years ago. Shiny glass ones like the few he wears interspersed with the bone and clay and wooden beads were common trade goods as Britannia tried to take over the planet. Bone and wooden beads sailors often carved for themselves in what became known as the art of scrimshaw. So, put short, "Fucking anywhere, dumbass."

4) I'm guessing something like being born the third son of a family with some standing, so he developed ambition and wit to make up for the fact he wasn't particularly necessary as long as both elder brothers were alive? (Headcanon I know, but purchased military commissions were common for "extra" sons in rich families, and he's clearly been raised as a member of the gentry or minor nobility.)

5) That bed-warmer was rubbed around under the blankets for a few minutes to break the worst of the chill, not left overnight. Better question: It's the BLOODY CARIBBEAN, why the hell were they WARMING her sheets!?!? I've been to Aruba (further south, so colder) in the middle of March (one of their coldest months) and only needed a sheet and light blanket. We're supposed to buy that all those quilts and a bed warmer were *necessary*?

6) I think Mythbusters tried this and called it plausible over a short distance.

7) Macaws can live in excess of 80 years. There's no way of knowing how long Cotton had the macaw or where it lived before he ended up with it. That could have been a 50 year old bird Cotton inherited from someone independent of losing his tongue, but in my head canon the guy who was *really* at fault for whatever he was punished for taught the bird to talk for him to make amends.

8) Monkeys are assholes much of the time. I don't see an irrational hatred of one particular person he'd never met before being out of character for the species. Bonus, Jack has weird hair and an ostentatious hat and moves like he's been licking toads or weird mushrooms, which can spook just about any animal. And, please note, never once did the little beast fling poo or piss on anyone, so over all, it's a very well-behaved monkey.

9) Her hair is healthier than yours to begin with b/c she doesn't use shampoo and then try to rehydrate it with more drying chemical gunk from having too many natural oils stripped out.

10) Headcanon: he totally did it with King George's mistress/daughter/wife/all of the above. He's Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?

Please tell me I'm not alone in knowing at least some of that stuff off the top of my head before ever watching the films? Are my countrymen really becoming that thick, or am I just a deeper level of nerd than I ever realized?

Grr.eat!

Trying to sign up at AO3 in advance of the TOMEs getting back on track one day. Requested invite code yesterday, hoping I could add some Thorin het to what's already offered re: Thorin at AO3. Note at sign up said I should receive my code today.

Nothing in spam or regular in box, and now I'm not on the list at all with another 240+ people ahead of me if I resubmit, but mine should have been in today's list of 1500 invites.

I can understand invite only admission, but this is part of why I don't like it. If posting fic is this kind of frustrating, I'll be reader-only at AO3. :/

1st World Problems, right?

ETA: FIXED! Rhapsy is awesome. I'll be reading and commenting on AO3 at least periodically, and see about posting once I get through this Desperate Hours series fic I just started reading. Who's there?
Browsing a fan fiction website which will remain unidentified, hoping for something to help me sleep a few more hours.

So, I read down the summaries of recently updated stories, muttering to myself...

French, can't read that.
Modern girl in M-e. No thank you.
Foundling elf with an entirely wrong name. Skipping.
Spanish, can't read it well. (I'm trying to go to sleep, not do mental calisthenics at 7 AM.)
Another elf romance with a wrong name. (Bloody hell, they're not hard to Google!)
"Prince of Gonder"? Where's that? Please proofread before posting.
Completely implausible Elvin AU.
Mary Sue/10th Walker begging for readers and reviews if they're not mean. Let's not, even though the name is in the right language this time.
Modern girl, modern name, modern movies fan, main character/OC romance, but "not a Mary Sue"? Yeah, sure.
10th Walker... Arwen's sister? Again with the Google!fail.

Jesus. No wonder they tell you to write what you want to read!

Meme, a different.

Six things that start with A, the letter chosen by binkaslibrary


Something I hate: assholes (the humans, not the body part)

Something I love: Apples, in anything. Applesauce, apple pie, apple preserves, baked spiced apples, fresh right off the tree, apple cider...

Somewhere I've been: Appomattox Courthouse, VA, a notable location from the US Civil War.

Somewhere I'd like to go: Alaska.

Someone I know: Amanda. (A couple of them.)

A film I liked: A League of Their Own.

Wanna play? Comment for a letter. :)

Hyperbolic Memage

Day 5 - Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6 - Five things you can’t live without

1. I
2. Can't
3. Think
4. Of
5. Any
6. Because "addicted" is a strong word.

1. Food
2. Water
3. Oxygen
4. Shelter
5. Sunlight

Missed yesterday.

Day 3 - Eight things that annoy you
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias

1. Rude People (and I'm American so they're all the hell over the place)
2. Stupid People (see parenthetical above)
3. Egregiously butchered grammar
4. Unmannered children
5. People who mistreat their pets
6. Entitled people
7. Politicians
8. Liars

1. Auto accidents
2. Fire
3. Natural disasters
4. Criminals/home invasion
5. Being at great heights
6. Spiders
7. Stinging insects

Meme, again.

Hey, I remembered!

10 days meme:

Day 1 - Ten random facts about yourself
Day 2 - Nine things you do everyday
Day 3 - Eight things that annoy you
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias
Day 5 - Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6 - Five things you can’t live without
Day 7 - Four memories you won’t forget
Day 8 - Three words you can’t go a day without
Day 9 - Two things you wish you could do
Day 10 - One person you can trust

Nine things I do every day

1. Feed cats
2. Feed chinchillas
3. Check email
4. Read
5. Watch Netflix
6. Drink fruit juice
7. Brush my teeth
8. Take out trash
9. Scoop litter boxes

Update and Meme.

Home. Jobless through no fault of my own (which is terrifying tbh). Sick, again, this time throat/respiratory. Thankfully our brush with Invluenza-A was over last week without much incident. So, here's a meme seen at Rhaps and Binks because it's 5AM and I've slept so much I can't sleep when I "should". *shrug*

10 days meme:

Day 1 - Ten random facts about yourself
Day 2 - Nine things you do everyday
Day 3 - Eight things that annoy you
Day 4 - Seven fears/phobias
Day 5 - Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6 - Five things you can’t live without
Day 7 - Four memories you won’t forget
Day 8 - Three words you can’t go a day without
Day 9 - Two things you wish you could do
Day 10 - One person you can trust


10 Random Facts About Me:
1. I still have a dent in my skull from a brain monitor employed when I was born. The doctor simply couldn't believe a 40 year old woman could have a healthy baby and kept my mother and I an additional 3 days.
2. I can pick things up with my toes.
3. I cannot say the alphabet backwards (so US roadside sobriety tests would be a problem if I were a heavy drinker).
4. Know how to sword fight? I do. :)
5. I can also sew.
6. But I don't cosplay. (Yet, anyway.)
7. I've just finished the first in the Kingkiller Chronicles and find myself addicted.
8. I've been quite disappointed in the last two HBO series based on book series I've read, so I don't plan to watch any more of them.
9. I've only got one tattoo at this point, but plans for more.
10. I am my cat's favorite place to sleep. Lap, chest, backside, she doesn't care, as long a she's on top of me.

I'm neither Francophone nor Francofile...

but I've noticed something.

Some terrorists are scared of girls with books and stop busses to shoot them in the head, or kidnap them and rape them and wait on the Western penchant for distraction to let them go forgotten.

Some are scared of cartoons, as though the idea of smiling at the image of a deity will somehow bring about the end of the world and condemn every soul on it to an unimaginable torment.

And I find myself wondering what it will take for my neighbors and countrymen to realize that the religion of the terrorist doesn't matter, that the color of their skin or the style of their dress does not indicate the twisted, necrotic soul required for such acts.

What will it take, having seen people in London and Paris and all over the Middle-east suffer what we did on 11th September 2001, to realize that *the religion* is not to blame? That, like our own Right Wingnuts, every religion, every culture, has within its confines a scattered few sociopaths that, when united by their madness, will destroy both their perceived enemies and the reputations of their brothers and sisters who are not such joyful participants in infamy.

No one deserves to die for a cartoon. Or a book. Or a headwrap.

We as a human species do not deserve the gift of life on this planet if we cannot afford to give it to each member of it.

Reasons I have a Husband Now. Entry 1.

7:20 PM, text I received at work:
"Here. Puppy in the parking lot!"
My Reply:
"Go say Hi and say I sent you over. Jen and Dakota are regulars."
7:30 PM, text:
"Puppy cuddles. :D"

8:20 PM, standing in the frozen foods aisle.
"I love you?" he says.
"I know, honey. I'm just exhausted and don't want to make any more decisions. I've done nothing but make decisions all day and I'm just done."
*he hugs me*
"Okay. So, what should you have for dinner? How about that cardboard box?"
*I lick the box.* "It's a little bland."
"Really? You really just licked cardboard? Alright, how about we walk around and I'll point at something and you can say yes or no?"
"Okay."
*walks toward the chocolate ice cream*

Yeah. Keeper.
~*~
There are various measures going through legislative bodies all over the world right now, attempting to decide what to do with citizens of country A that aid "in foreign wars" or "terroristic activity" related to countries Q, R, S, and T.

Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/13/world/middleeast/isis-recruits-prompt-laws-against-foreign-fighters.html?partner=rss&emc=rss&smid=fb-nytimes&bicmst=1409232722000&bicmet=1419773522000&smtyp=aut&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&_r=0

My knee-jerk, 7the generation American reaction is to say, "If they leave here to join ISIS or the Islamic Brotherhood or whoever else thinks it's okay to carbomb public buildings and unleash nerve gas on toddlers, they need their US citizenship revoked and a GPS tracker for the Navy SEALS shoved up their asses."

And then I realize that the 16 year old child bride of a 39 year old (now, thank you US flight schools) pilot sold off from New Jersey in a "traditional" marriage and compelled onto a plane to live in Turkey doesn't deserve to lose the protection of citizenship in her home country. Her children don't deserve to lose the protection of their mother's citizenship either; she didn't decide to be married to a terrorist. But, what if the family in the next house *did* decide together to join a radical religio-political murder movement? Shouldn't that wife be punished too?

In no particular order:

Netherlands-- seeking to revoke citizenship of those volunteering with a terrorist organization, applying to those with dual citizenship only. (What I don't understand: isn't helping a group that wants to "Kill the Infidels" still treasonous from someone with single citizenship?)

Germany-- seeking to revoke the Government ID cards of terrorist organization participants, thereby limiting their movement within the continent. (Besides the treason question, what does that do to their ability to leave the continent if they possess other papers like a passport/travel visa? I'm unfamiliar with the national identity card, though I think I know how to ask to see it.)

French-- considering revoking the need for a court order for police to stop a citizen leaving the country. (Will they use it for the intended situation without expanding the power based on the precedent the decision sets?")

Britain-- can revoke citizenship of dual citizen involved with terrorist groups. Considering expansion of that power to delay the return to UK of born and single citizens suspected of terrorist activity, and prosecuting over 4 dozen British citizens with known ties to terrorist groups on the continent who have returned to UK.

But here's the sticky wicket for me:
"Counterterrorism officials recommend that countries share data to detect the recruitment of foreign fighters, monitor online communications more aggressively, share airline passenger information in advance, and criminalize travel abroad to fight."

Translation: "We think a guy named Abdulla Mohammad al Hussien is traveling to Syria even though his ticket is to Egypt where he has family. You should detain him on his stop over in London until we can get a session in with him. We're sending CIA agents to help pick him up at 09:00 hrs."

My fear: all that information sharing and preemptive prosecution by intelligence opens the door for someone else's back yard to become the setting of "unseen" acts of torture and illegal detention in the name of keeping Americans safe, at the expense of any corporate money-grubber that wants to having full access to *my* browsing history by greasing the right palms.

Thoughts flist?

For lupinelullabye

Info on a rehabber's license: http://www.in.gov/dnr/fishwild/5492.htm (Good way to start. Schools like showing kids opossums and woodchucks/groundhogs when they do units on local ecosystems, Native American studies, and state history.) You'd also contact the DNR if you need permits for animals like garter snakes, pond turtles, etc.

There's apparently a state-funded training program for educators: http://www.in.gov/dnr/fishwild/7543.htm .

I'd suggest getting an axolotl if you can make space for a 20 gal cold freshwater tank. They're inexpensive to obtain and keep, a great example for conservation of species and habitat, they regenerate limbs etc. for science lessons, and the genetics behind the coloration and fluorescence under blacklight are really cool too. (I'm a bit of a salamander nerd. :) )

And because states are getting more nitpicky about species and such, you'll need to be familiar with this:

Summary of Law: All persons who possess certain wild animals must obtain a permit for each animal they possess. A wild animal possession permit is required for Class I animals (eastern cottontail rabbit, gray squirrel, fox squirrel, southern flying squirrel) Class II animals (beaver, coyote, gray fox, red fox, mink, muskrat, opossum, raccoon, skunk, weasel) and Class III animals: wolves (purebred), bears, wild cats (excluding feral cats), venomous reptiles and crocodilians (at least 5 feet long).

Citation: IND. CODE ANN. §14-22-26-1-§14-22-26-6


The education permit is outlined in 312IAC 9-10-9.5

Over all, these aren't bad restrictions, at least compared to some other states. (Right now NY isn't issuing any permits at all because they can't decide if you should be allowed to have an alligator if you don't have a BS in biology or even a master's degree.) I cannot stress enough, though, that getting into hot reptiles is specialist work that REQUIRES specialist training. If I'm lucky, I can get a calm, cold timber into a sterilite bin without it striking, and I work with the guy that trains NY state's environmental officers in confiscating restricted species. Don't mess around with the stuff that can kill you until you've learned how to minimize the risk. :)

Book meme.

Ganked from Rhapsody11, who saw it "at heartofoshun and chaotic_binky who at her turn read the meme at semyaza And semyaza writes: Last night, I finished reading Jacques Bonnet's Phantoms on the Bookshelves (a book after my own heart) and started putting together a meme based on it. Some of this overlaps other book memes but does anyone get tired of talking about books? If you do, don't speak up. You needn't answer the meme in a comment on my post. Feel free to spread it around, such as it is."

1. How many books do you own and how did you come to be a book collector (assuming that you are)? With an average of 2 dozen on a shelf and four sets of shelves.... at least 300? Maybe 500? C. and I are both bibliophiles.
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https://www.change.org/petitions/staples-don-t-cut-part-time-hours-because-of-obamacare

And/or call this number (1-800-338-0252) and explain to them that changing their scheduling practices 2 years in advance of a legal directive while attempting to blame the decision on a changing health care law is such a blatantly obvious ploy for higher profits at the expense of their employees that they don't deserve the business of honest, hard working people like the ones they're fucking over. Their behavior makes it clear why their new hire and yearly training updates are so blatantly anti-union, and those of us who have attempted to get answers or make some kind of change on the job fear for our positions.

This decision, in the state in which I live, means the average worker will bring home $170/week. Before this, the highest potential pay a part time worker could bring home was about $280/week. When I file my income tax this year, I will report just over $15,000.00 (about 11,000 Euro) as my gross income. I worked, until recently, an average of 30 hr./week. In some states, those numbers are even lower, and when weighed against the "under employment" rate, are truly sickening. Prior to this change, they once again "revamped" the bonus system and have removed all cash incentives from meeting sales or performance goals as of the first week of December 2013.

Happy fucking New Year, eh?

These are no longer the terms of the contract I signed 3.5 years ago, and yet until I can find additional work, I'm trapped in their ever shifting "corporate mandated" sands, as are over 60% of the chain's workers. The chain has locations in all 50 U.S. States, most of Canada, Germany, Portugal, and the U.K. Please don't use them or the online ordering functions (warehouse and production center facilities are being hamstrung too) unless not doing so would cause you hardship.

I am no longer proud to work for this anti-union, anti-worker, anti-ethics company which strives daily to sink to the level of Wal Mart by becoming Tennessee Ernie Ford's "company store". The world doesn't need more liars, con artists, and greedy fat asses sipping G&Ts with politicians and lobbyists to make it run better. If CostCo and Starucks can value employee involvement as much as they do, "the #1 office supplies store in the world" is certainly capable of it. They just lack the motivation.

A Work Rant.

We have some very simple rules we have to follow when you decide to trust SPU with your grandkid's Christmas presents. The rules are to try to make sure your stuff gets where you want it with minimal (read: no) damage, because SPU doesn't want to pay back your shipping + the stated replacement value of the item. They want to keep your money. That's why they are a business.
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And a bonus "Here's Your Sign" moment: "Wow, that's a big pile of boxes there. Do you do shipping here?"

(They're stacked in front of a 6' tall sign reading "SPU Drop Off Location," so I wish to hell more of he people asking that were kidding me.)

Philosophizing.

I'm ultimately, I think, a very angry person. I'm angry about my childhood, and how my parents' shortcomings and emotional problems shaped mine. I'm angry about my job and how I'm expected to accept insult on top of abuse and still provide service with a smile-- but without reward. I'm angry about my neighborhood and the selfishness of others. I'm angry about my country-- its myopathy, misogyny, selfishness, ignorance, arrogance. I'm angry about my government. I shouldn't have to explain why there, it's all over the news.

But here's the thing about anger; as much as people tell you anger is bad, shame you for it, punish it, anger is inborn. We say it about infants too young to hold up their own heads when they scream in discomfort or fear or rage. "Oooh, he's angry! Better get his bottle/pacifier/blanket/Mama." Anger saves lives. Anger causes change. Anger reveals lies and games and abuses of power and authority. Anger brings justice.

But at what cost?

Contrary to what many religious types try to teach (especially to women) anger doesn't have to destroy the individual that feels it. It can motivate. It can inspire. It can drive. It *can* heal. But often, hand in hand with it, comes violence and hatred and jealousy and a number of other destructive habits. These, I believe, are what kills the humanity of a person, hamstringing the soul and crippling it's ability to connect with others.

Now, I feel hatred, and lots of it, on a regular basis. I'm vengeful. I wish no end of ill will on certain people. This is off-putting to many people, including myself, because penning up that anger and hatred, seeing no vengeance, quickly turns toxic. Imagine an animal as smart as a human, as strong, as conniving, incensed beyond control... and venomous. Thus, I find it important to take the anger that draws with it the vengeance and hatred and examine it, to refine it into something useful. There is no improvement in allowing frustration and apathy to turn into a violent rage, not of the self or the world around you. There is only destruction, of the self and the world around you.

Taking the deep-seated and long-running anger I have always felt and turning it into something that drives good is probably the best revenge I can take on the reasons for my anger.

That's not always an easy task. Today is not an easy day. I'm in pain. I'm afraid. I'm worried. I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated. I'm fed up. Hope is scarce. The destructive habits that hitch-hike with a justifiable anger are hard for me to fight today.

Thank you for caring about me. I don't hear from all of you often, some hardly at all, but it's still a strong network, like the old spiderwebs in the attic window that trap an errant mosquito. A framework from which to ground myself and stop the swirling madness of rage from overwhelming my good sense and desire to use all this anger for better reasons that self-satisfaction is lifesaving. I want to scream, throw things, break things, hurt someone. Ruin. Become the epitome of The Hag, the Banshee, Kali the Destroyer Goddess beautiful in her rage. Instead, I'll breathe. I'll relax. I'll pull back, be objective. I will build, rather than destroy... because that's what She, what They DON'T want me to do.

Because I'm Bard and I Love My Willy! ;)

When you read this, post on your own journal with a quotation you love of the Bard.

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

(Aka: Science can't explain every possibility.)
On June 10th, when I was 7 weeks 3 days gestation, I elected to terminate my pregnancy. In 2007, I was told that the severity of my endomitriosis and ovarian cysts might not prevent me from getting pregnant, but would most likely keep me from carrying to term. At that time, I also elected to terminate, and that was done by suction, as I'd already started to miscarry. It, appropriately on a number of levels, sucked.

This time, I chose to attempt the prescription route. Looking back, I probably would have gone with suction, if I could know then what I know now. Explanation under the cut: possibly triggering for abortion/termination complications including GI and stomach issues.
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Please don't take this to mean that everyone who chooses to terminate, or terminates in this way, or chooses an IUD in spite of the risks will go through what I have. This is simply what happened to me, a string of "bumps in the road" as some would say. I do caution you, however, to think carefully about the seat you purchase for the toilet in your first apartment. Think carefully about the furniture in the bathroom as well; something on which to rest your feet may one day turn out to be a good idea. And finally, don't overlook or underestimate the depth of care you can get from a Planned Parenthood or similar reproductive health clinic. Knowing how your reproductive system works, how you *want* it to work, and owning it is one of the most precious rights we have as humans.

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